I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
