I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
