Screwed.edu
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
