a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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