Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
