Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
