He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
