I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
