i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
