well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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