Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He better not be in your backpack
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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