Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
