just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
