if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
