I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
