You can't special order awesome
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
