i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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