I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
