Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
