just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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