This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
