oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
