Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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