D3 body, D1 cock
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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