i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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