I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she pinky promised me she was 18
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
