God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
