you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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