I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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