Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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