I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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