discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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