I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
God I need to hump something, right now.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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