If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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