Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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