you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
