This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
this will be a night to untag.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
