The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
