wat bout pragnant strippers??
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
