that's an acceptable place to lick
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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