i permit you to call me
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
