He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
pop tarts are not kleenex
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I could fuck to npr.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
