rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
