it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
