Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
