yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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