chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
