Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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