the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
