Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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