ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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