Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
