hotel room ftw
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
