This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
