the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
